Vay-Kay

12/25/2008
1613 PST
Oakland CA

Yesterday, at 12:30 PM, my holiday vacation began. Today, Christmas Day (my mother's 59th birthday as well), is the first full day off. Christmas Day marks the second major holiday this season where I have spent time in an airport. Today it was SFO (more specifically, terminal 3, the United Terminal). Today I was not travelling. Instead, I dropped off my dear M. (or, to select from a number of terms of endearment not to exclude 'partner-in-crime', 'accomplice', or the always popular, my gal) on her way to Lone Star State. I would have gladly tagged along (thus giving myself a new appellation: travelling companion, side-kick, sherpa). But our vacation plans were long-ago established.

On the drive home, I thought about how to spend my vacation (or rather, how much would I spend on my vacation). Xmas was already booked. Boxing Day required attending to some errands in the morning. So, I figured the vacation (versus the day off) really starts around noon on Friday, the 26th and lasts through 9 AM (or so) on Tuesday, the 30th (I have decided that perhaps I shall trade the 30th for the 5th of January and take off the 5th instead). A few ideas crossed my mind on how to spend the time:

1) find a cable channel broadcasting some kind of marathon and settle into watching. Last year I believe I watched the Dirty Jobs marathon and another marathon featuring some kind of travel show. Perhaps I can find the To Catch a Predator marathon because nothing says holiday cheer more than watching pedophiles rationalize their sociopathy to Chris Hansen.

2) go to the driving range everyday so that I can work on my swing and new ways of incorporating the F-word into new and poetical constructions. Then I can go to the putting green so that I can rename it the 'putzing green' since my short game is more like the short bus.

3) pretend that it is not the holiday season or that it is a different holiday season. Perhaps I should find illegal fireworks, hang a "Happy Independence Day" banner across my porch, have a bar-b-que, and invite my neighbors over for a block-party.

4) sleep. That's it. Just sleep. Wake up. Drink coffee. Eat a couple of pancakes. Write something creative. Then lounge around until the carb crash occurs from the pancakes. Repeat sleeping.

5) calculate the price of being on vacation (air, lodging, meals, taxes, convenience fees, resort fees, handling fees, luxury taxes, airport use fees, base fees, September 11th security fee, September 12th homeland security recoupment fee, September 13th homeland security renaming project fee, mini-bar fee, postcard fee, and the ever popular 'fee' fee) and simply spend the same amount on stuff. Include one durable good like a washing machine, telephone booth, or iron lung, to help stimulate the economy. Stuff I'd like to get to vacate dollars out of my wallet: window coverings (OK, fine, window treatments) for the dining room window; more new clothes and a couple pairs of shoes.

If I were to go with option 5, having just checked air-hotel-car on United.com, I can splurge, waste, excessively consume, unwisely spend, or self-indulgently lavish between $3,200 and $6,901 if I decided, on a whim, to go to Oahu from 12/27/08 to 1/4/09. Checking out vacations on Southwest Airlines, I could go from Oakland to Orlando for $450.

6) do something different everyday. A vacation from the ordinary.

Next blog post: an update on this blog.